Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
