Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
