Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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