Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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