Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
