dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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