my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When are your genitals available?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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