I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
bring money and cleavage
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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