so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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