So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
