i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
