I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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