Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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