Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
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I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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