I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
