I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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