Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
pop tarts are not kleenex
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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