he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
