I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
