I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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