is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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