he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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