life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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