I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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