i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
