i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
