so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize