just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
