i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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