On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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