He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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