i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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