So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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