Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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