Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
