i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
