Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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