If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My penis needs a shock collar
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
