Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
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I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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