all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize