took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
