One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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