Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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