their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
