I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
