you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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