You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
