i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
