you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
