Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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