So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
