You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
