I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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