I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
