I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
