well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize